this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
