I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
