I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
