She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Randomize