Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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