You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Bring me that man meat
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
