But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
