we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize