I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
