Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize