my room smells like sperm. sweet.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
