but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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