yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
