We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
