Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize