i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
