if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I want you more than these girls want KFC
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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