Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize