You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
