At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
