I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
