I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Of course I have a pirate flag
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
