It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
