is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
