I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
