I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We have so much sex to catch up on
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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