When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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