Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
