He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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