By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize