Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
