Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
