Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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