Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
