Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
