no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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