Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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