Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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