Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
