I am puke
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
never play flip cup with pint glasses
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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