just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
