god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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