In the future we'll all be gay
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
