I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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