i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
either way he was missing a nipple.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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