Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
