need another drink. this is the easiest way
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
