You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
