If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
