I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize