I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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