just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I had to cum in my sink.
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