i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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