There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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