Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
