A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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