you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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