I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I need to sanitize my soul.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
