i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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