Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
