It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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