Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
