oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
